How did you get THAT there?

Little children are like bugs. They grow strength in numbers. If one little bug wants to do something unwise, somehow, he or she convinces the others to follow a collaborative process which maximizes the chances that the indiscretion will go unnoticed, unpunished, or be generally unprovable. I call it the distract, confuse, deflect method. One child sends telepathic messages to all others in the hive. The other members of the hive will receive the transmission and immediately begin to do something that will take the adult's line of sight into the opposite direction of the misgivings which have already, or are about to take place. Other members of the hive will also begin to make disorienting sounds, i.e. humming, singing, clicking, tapping, etc....this is part of the confuse portion of the method. After all is said and done, if the transgression is discovered, the lead bug will then shift any and all blame onto a lesser bug, thereby causing the adult to become trapped in a noisy maze of he did/she did that is impossible to escape. (Either that, or, you will simply get the "My lights are on, but, no-one's at home" look.)

Well, I'm not really sure how this happened. I was thinking on this memory and it brought a smile to my face. Because the distract, confuse, deflect method was employed, I have no idea how this particular instance took place. I have the unlucky task of escorting little bugs to and from the restroom every day at school. During one of our restroom breaks, I happened to notice some unusual noises coming from the boys' room. As soon as I reached the restroom door, four young gentlemen quickly removed themselves from the bathroom into the hall. What was left behind was the lead bug desperately scrubbing a brown substance from the front of his shirt. I initially assumed it must have been chocolate pudding...not so, readers, not so...just use your imagination...Well, that brings me to my initial question...how (really how) did you get THAT there??? It still baffles me. I maybe could understand if it was on the back of the shirt...but, the front?? I still wonder about that. Hey, I know that this story is kinda gross, but, for those of us with a darker sense of humor...(Am I really the only one who thinks this is funny??) In any event, how many of you out there have ever had good reason to speak the words, " Would you please get this child another shirt...he has...uh...poop on this one?"...

Kids say the darndest things!

Well, I have no little angels of my own...but, I have 20 of them. Teachers out there will understand what I mean. Actually, I do love "my" kids...its hard not to, they really are adorable and sometimes say the funniest things. I love my students' enthusiasm for life, how they are able to make it through days and weeks without worrying about anything. I work with 6 year olds. They are young enough to still care about everything, but, old enough to be lucid and make some sense...some of the time. I look at those itsy bitsy ones and think...i bet that kid is thinking about donuts, or, maybe about hugs...The other day, one of my students was missing his handwriting notebook. Poor kid really was confused. I guess that dad didn't tell him that he'd taken it home to recover it. When the treachery was revealed, my little angel's response was..."My daddy took my book!?!...Curses on you Daddy!" Can't say that I've ever heard that one before. :-)